We had a beautiful meeting this morning and wanted to share what is happening in me...
At least the past few years, it seems as though I have been removing things from my life that were distractions. Things that would interfere with my relationship with Christ were dealt with one at a time by identifying and discarding, sometimes painfully open and sometimes quietly alone. This may seem like the right thing to do on the surface but there is a way that seems right to the flesh but it is not the way of the Lord. I'd like to share a little testimony about the past few years and if it means something to you, that's great. If it doesn't, then that's okay too.
I feel I should warn you that what you may read isn't a definitive statement of fact, but rather an open confession of my thoughts and relationship with Life.
I have this revelation that the local organization, traditionally called the local church, is not necessary for redemption. I so love the local church (people) that it's easy to see the distinction between the organization and God's people. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the local organization is, many times, a great hindrance to believers. Rules and pressure placed on the individual person make it a place where grace is seldom found. Tue love takes a second place to our location, do we have enough parking spaces and how we are gonna pay for all 'this'. True grace is always accepting. Organizations are groups of people with flaws and problems that sometimes make good decisions and sometimes really 'screw' things up.
If you'll think back just a few sentences, I made a statement that I have a revelation about... (we'll you read it). That isn't exactly true. The revelation I have isn't about anything external. The revelation I have is that Christ loves and accepts me, not based on anything I have or have not done, but based on His very nature. The revelation is that the 'temporary' me isn't what counts. It's the permanent me, the eternal me that He is separating(ed) like bone and marrow, thoughts and intentions. The true me is life itself and cannot be separated from Him. The true me isn't based in worldly dimensions or understanding. The true me is eternal and without beginning or end, at least as my natural mind can understand. It was a trick that I believed for far too long that said, “what I did mattered”. It is the human condition that wants to be validated and praised. God's revelation to me was that there was nothing my flesh had to offer that was of value, yet He died to take it ALL, and give me that new identity based in Light.
Well, armed with this new insight into Light, my 'temporary' me just loves getting involved in the mix and distorting God's simple grace and truth. God's simple grace is that He is an accepting God and loves all people (yep, even Hitler, Billy Graham, Ted Bundy, Obama, Bush, or anyone else you can name). Standing against the Light of Lights, everything comes up short. The local organization is not anything all that special except it is a really good place to fellowship and possible learn and hear about (from) God. You could say the same thing about a grocery store or maybe even the neighborhood bar too. There is nothing that measures up to His grace, and that is why we (I) need it so very much. I should not remove myself from a situation because light exposes darkness. Light was meant to expose what was hidden.
One more time, I'd like to take a shot at stating clearly what the problem is with my earlier interpretation of my revelation. We were talking about suicide this morning and why that is wrong. Persons committing suicide simply aren't dealing with their 'now'. They aren't dealing with the present reality around them in a 'head-on' way. They are dealing with it by 'cutting' 'it' out of their lives, but they haven't really dealt with what's happening. The same is true with my revelation (or false revelation). I actually believed that because the local organization had no redeeming value that I should trim it from my life; I felt I should remove the distraction so that what was left would be holy. Actually, what I was doing was committing a different kind of suicide, but suicide just the same.
There is no action you or I can take to make us more acceptable to God. Isolation didn't work for me, and was the source of much restlessness the past few years. God didn't intend on trying to fix everything that is wrong in the world around us. The light in me was meant to be light to illuminate what is hidden, and then leave it alone. If we isolate ourselves from everything that doesn't measure up, there isn't anything left. Nothing this world can produce is even in the same realm as this God (Light) we know as our salvation.
I guess to sum it up, I am learning to trust Him more fully. I am, right now, by faith, allowing His light to illuminate in and through me, what is hidden. There is really only one way to commit suicide and that is not to live in the 'now'. Don't jump to the conclusion that because you see something, you should 'fix' it. You may be seeing it because measured against the wonderful Grace that is offered in Him, nothing compares. Lighten up and enjoy life!
I am, David
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